To be perfectly honest, I’m not quite sure where to begin with this but was urged by girlfriends to blog about it as its one of those discoveries (like no shoes) that leaves you baffled at the best of times. I figure the place to start is how kiwis (for the record, different and unrelated people throughout the course of my stay) have explained it to us. It all starts off with a binge drinking night out where fuelled by alcohol, you pash and go home with someone. One night stand and that’s that right? Well if you’re in NZ then NO because if it happens again in the future (days, weeks, months…whatever) it means that you like the person and if things don’t go as expected then the fallback is to blame the booze. That being said, if it happens a 3rd time than BAM, you’re in a relationship. Maybe it’s just the people I know but this is a major WTF moment as to us this means friends with benefits or booty call not RELATIONSHIP.
Also, when they’ve had a few then it doesn’t seem to deter the kiwi if you do or don’t want to be part of their dating ritual. Single, married (fidelity isn’t one of those things that automatically comes with marriage in these parts), perverted or just plain crazy – they will aggressively come after you like a bull in a china shop. It will lead to awkward moments where you get picked up and twirled or pushed up against walls and have your face licked or have someone jam their tongue in your ear or if you’re me – ALL OF THE ABOVE! Sometimes I think my being Canadian must lead kiwis to confuse me with a popsicle but that’s not even half as awkward as having to explain to someone that just because we’ve had brunch, it doesn’t mean that it’s okay to tell everyone that we’re a couple.
Keep in mind that all the above is nothing but a generalization but in my humble opinion, take it as the rule and not the exception. All good though because what my time in NZ has taught me is that maybe I’m a hopeless romantic or atleast someone not willing to put up with being man-handled by intoxicated individuals who are so socially awkward that they’re unable to approach me while sober. I may come across as a prude but the one thing I know for certain is that I’m looking for quality not quantity and can spot the difference despite how hard a guy might try.