Kissing the Blarney Stone is on every list of things to do in Ireland and it seems that everyone from A List celebrities to no name tourists have all done it. Legend has it that kissing the stone endows the kisser with the gift of the gab but rumour has it that this very stone that’s kissed by tourists has been peed on by locals. And thus, as we slowly made our way to the Blarney Castle the heated debate on germs, gross out factor, and whether or not to kiss the Blarney Stone began. Sadly, it came to an abrupt end when I interrupted an odd moment of silence with a rather loud declaration that was along the lines of – well, I’ve kissed worse!
And that was it. It was at this exact moment that I committed myself to kissing the Blarney Stone – pee or no pee. Let’s face it, I was born with the gift of gab as any more gabbing from me would probably cause ears to bleed. Nevertheless, I found myself marching towards the top of the castle to meet some old dude who’d hold my legs (aka Gropey Graham) just so I could get into a rather awkward back bend position while holding onto railings in order to pucker up and lay one on a stone. To make matters worse, when I got to the top of the castle, I realized that not only was I going to get held down by Gropey Graham but I was queued behind a hoard of tourists who were going to spread their saliva on the stone right before me. YAY!
Personally, I don’t think there’s a way that one can make kissing the Blarney Stone a sanitary experience but I was in too deep and would just have to buck up and get down to business. Germs, Irish pee, and the world’s saliva was heading towards these precious lips of mine and there’s nothing I could do about it other than kiss that stone like a boss. Before I knew it, the moment was over as quickly as it began and I knew the only thing left to do was find a pint of something alcoholic in order to disinfect my lips and all that surround it from anything contagious that the stone may have passed on. As for the stone bestowing great eloquence on me – well I guess time will tell but what I’m now painfully aware of is that a little something called the flu may have been passed on. The big question that remains is whether or not this was due to the kissing of the Blarney Stone.